Letting Go

You follow me everywhere,

always telling me I’m wrong.

I’ve given up too much control,

let you rule me for too long.

You know all my weakest spots,

my deepest terrors and fears.

You hit me were you know it hurts,

digging into my soul with your spears.

I know I need to say goodbye,

it is time for me to be free.

But, after all our time together,

I often can’t tell you, from me.

I know I shouldn’t want you around,

but, it feels like you keep me safe.

I know your safety is an illusion,

I must let go of it, and be brave.

You are the one that creates the fear,

by filling my mind with doubt.

I keep needing to make sure all is alright,

letting certainty go is the only way out.

I keep on fighting you as I can,

but your persuasiveness remains.

You keep trying to lure me in,

to get me back into your chains.

I’ve fought so hard and come too far,

to fall back into destructive ways.

So even though it terrifies me,

I must find my way out of this maze.

I wouldn’t wish on anyone,

the burden of carrying you along.

But as much as you’ve ruined me,

you’ve also made me strong.

#ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder

Heartfully Hanna 2018

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